I’m riding a bucking bronco! Bobbing on a stormy sea! Being tossed about on the Salt & Pepper Shaker ride at the fair! For the last three months I have been on a heck of a ride on my journey to recovery! Triggered by medical marijuana, I have been processing and purging fear and other long buried emotional stuff that has left me feeling panicky, anxious, frustrated and experiencing very intense symptoms! It has been a challenge!
A few weeks ago I started waking up in the middle of the night feeling a bit panicky. It was due to some tightness in my throat [causing me to want to swallow repeatedly] and my tongue sticking to the top of my mouth. It was making think I might suffocate. I knew it was nothing serious [I wasn’t going to suffocate], but still, it was really starting to play on my mind… freak me out! I think it was triggered by the medical marijuana I was taking, because I was also feeling a lot of emotional upheaval during the day. I was getting to the point where I was scared to go to bed. I was doing everything I could to make the feeling go away, but it wasn’t working!
People have asked me what prompted me to write The History Teacher books. It’s actually an interesting story [I think], so here goes!
In the winter of 2006, I was still working in the corporate world. I hadn’t yet made the transition to teaching martial arts full-time. One morning I woke up with an idea for a book in my head! I had no idea when the idea came from. I wasn’t thinking about writing a book. Divine guidance? More than likely!
I have long held that view that I’m not suffering from parkinson’s disease. Rather, I am experiencing a health condition characterized by certain symptoms. What is more, I don’t believe that I have to cure the condition. Instead, in order to recover my health I need to return my body to homeostasis.
I’m very pleased to announce that the first book I wrote, The History Teacher, has been revamped and is available as a second edition. The story is still the same, but the writing has been tightened up considerably, to make it a smoother read. Currently, it is available in PDF format for downloading to your e-reader.
Thanks to a recent conversation with a friend, I had an epiphany about my experience with this neurological condition. I realized that I have been spending far too much time thinking about the symptoms I experience; wanting not to experience them.
For many people experiencing the neurological condition known as Parkinson’s disease, anxiety is one of the more common and challenging symptoms.
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. It is an expression of fear, created by a thought. Given the challenges of the symptoms and given what the future holds for those who consider their condition to be incurable, it is no doubt that anxiety is so common.
As I sit here watching snow falling on this tranquil Sunday afternoon [we’ve received over seven feet so far this winter] I am reminded of the trepidation I was feeling last fall about spending my first winter on Manitoulin Island. The source of my uneasiness… among other things, tending to a 150 yard long driveway, mostly by myself [Mari is away two weeks every month] on an island known for lots of snow! Turns out my concerns were mostly unfounded.
I have been focusing lately on the elements of recovery: spiritual awakening, personality change, homeostasis, stress minimization, etc. Another critical element is love, or more appropriately described, divine self love!
Divine self love is not derived from being loved by others. Rather, it comes from understanding our true divine spiritual essence… which is, love!
I would like to introduce you to a fellow blogger, Laurie, whose recovery from anorexia began with the discovery of her divine self! She describes it beautifully through a poem!