I would like to share with you my meditation experience and approach! Having said this, I would like you to know that I am no expert in meditation, nor am I a superior meditator.
Worry! In my experience, it is the most challenging issue we face in living with, managing and overcoming the symptoms of PD … and many other conditions, I suspect!
Apathy and depression are also conditions faced by many and it’s quite possible, if not probable, that worry plays a role here, as well.
It has been two months since my last post on my journey experiencing the symptoms of Parkinson’s. Since that post, my journey has taken an abrupt turn!
When I was diagnosed with PD in 2008, I made the decision at that time to deal with it naturally. The neurologist who diagnosed me explained that the only way to treat PD was with medication. I said, no thank you. I felt confident that I could overcome the condition by healing the emotional root cause … the same way I had overcome food sensitivities and migraine headaches.
In a recent conversation, Mari and I agreed that the state of our bodies is largely a reflection of the quality of our thoughts. Yes, nutrition plays a role, as does chemical toxicity, exercise, stretching, relaxation and correcting physical trauma, but more than anything else, it’s our thoughts that determine whether our bodies are going to be in a stressed [fight or flight] state or a relaxed state, and thus, in good health or not.
Some days I am challenged to accept the symptoms I experience and today is one of those days! I am presently in the middle of a Bowen purging and consequently I am experiencing extremely intense symptoms, especially as it relates to loss of balance, freezing and shuffle walking. Bowen purging seems to bring up a lot of anger which underneath feels like helplessness and shame. Today I’m feeling a lot of anger.
As a follow-up to my last post about the wonders of living on Manitoulin and its contribution to my recovery effort, there is another reason why I love living on the island … magical moments! Like a few days ago when I picked up the crocs I had left on the deck overnight and a tree toad jumped out of them! Reebet!
If you have been following my blog, you will likely know my belief is this neurological condition we’re experiencing, in fact any challenge we are facing, is meant to guide us to an understanding of our true nature and purpose! It has spiritual meaning!
It is meant for us to learn that we are more than just physical beings here to amass and consume. We are not just the physical bodies we inhabit, nor are we our thoughts and beliefs, or the emotions we feel. We are actually spiritual beings having a human experience, living in oneness with the universal-energetic-intelligence [God]. We are the conscious observers of our body, thoughts, feelings and experiences. This is Eckhart Tolle’s primary message!
But how do we live spiritually given the daily challenges we face? How do we live spiritually when we are in a state of anxiety, trembling, shuffle walking, trying to maintain our balance, struggling to perform simple tasks like tying up our shoes or getting out of a chair, or experiencing constipation? It’s not easy!
To begin, I remind myself every day that what I am experiencing has purpose. Not only is it meant to guide us to spiritual awakening, it is also meant to guide us away from fear, to divine love! To reinforce this, each day I recite my spiritual version of the 23rd Psalm as well as my divine love mantra [see below].
Next, I do my best to live in the present moment. This is another one of Eckhart’s key messages. It is okay to reflect on the past, but we don’t live in it. Similarly, it is okay to plan for the future, but we don’t live in it. We only ever live in the present moment. It’s all there is. I do my best to place my attention on whatever I am doing. I also focus on my breath or simply look around and observe.
Whenever the present moment is unpleasant I do my best to accept the circumstances and remind myself that it is only temporary. It will pass!
I spend time in nature! I love the serenity and I can sense the healing energy! There is nothing quite like the joy of walking through the forest or sitting by the lake!
I talk to the universal-energetic-intelligence. I carry on a conversation just like I would as if I was talking to you. I give thanks. I make observations. It is a great way to connect with the divine!
I live lovingly! I am kind, compassionate, generous, grateful and forgiving! My mantra is, we could change the world simply by being kind to one another!
I practice Qigong. Qigong is about cultivating chi [energy]. It is a very spiritual practice!
I pray as an expression of gratitude!
I yell hallelujah! As I discussed in my last post, this too is a great way to connect with the divine!
I believe in my heart living spiritually is a big, essential step towards recovering my health! At the very least, it helps me to manage my day-to-day challenges in a more loving manner!
23rd Psalm [spiritual version]:
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. Spirit makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters. Spirit restores my soul and leads me down a path of spiritual awakening for my highest good. Spirit helps me to feel good about myself. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of impermanence I shall fear no darkness, for thou art with me. Your love and compassion comfort me. You help me to understand, accept and let go of my past, and in the process, you help me to forgive. You also help me to live in the present moment. My life is filled with abundance. Surely peace love joy abundance and bliss will be with me all the rest of my days. And I will dwell in spiritual consciousness forever! Hallelujah!
Divine love mantra:
The universal-energetic-intelligence, which is pure love, wishes to expand itself. It wishes to expand love in the universe, through experience. Through my experience and the experience of every other entity in the universe. We are the vessels for the expression and expansion of love. And the best thing I can do to contribute to this expansion is to fully surrender to the will and wisdom of the universal-energetic-intelligence; live in love by being kind, compassionate, generous, forgiving and grateful; acknowledge my true essence which is divine love; and live in the present moment. And I can do this, because I live in spiritual consciousness and I choose to celebrate life. I choose to honour and enjoy the journey and embrace the adventure. I am so grateful for the opportunity I’ve been given to participate in the flow-of-life and contribute to the expansion of divine love! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah, essentially means to rejoice, to joyously celebrate God [the universal-energetic-intelligence]. It means to celebrate life!
For me, hallelujah is a tool I use on a daily basis to manage this neurological condition I’m experiencing. I use it in two ways. First, I yell hallelujah in order to neutralize the fight or flight state that I find myself in each day. Second, I use it to help me accomplish physical tasks I’m struggling with, like getting out of a chair.
What I find interesting is that I can stay in the fight or flight state for hours at a time at varying levels of intensity where as the joyful feeling I get from yelling hallelujah only lasts a few minutes. Neuroscientist and standup comedian, Dean Burnett, provides an explanation for this phenomenon. In his book, The Idiot Brain, he explains that the hormones released by the body during the fight or flight response, such as adrenaline and cortisol, will stay in the body for up to an hour [in my case, more like a day], where as, the neurotransmitters released during a moment of joy, last only a few minutes.
I guess the preservation of life is more important to the body than happiness. Makes sense!
So I find myself yelling, HALLELUJAH, a lot! I also find looking up, raising my eyebrows and smiling, to be effective, as well.
I’m sure the neighbours are questioning my sanity [they’re sure not questioning my insanity] but nonetheless, I am staying the course!
Oh, by the way, I also yell, WOOHOO, a lot. If it works for Homer Simpson, that’s good enough for me!
We may be living with this challenging health condition but that doesn’t mean life can’t be awesome!
Last night, just after sunset [which was spectacular!] a deer passed through our yard! Last week, while eating breakfast on the deck, a bald eagle flew overhead! Twice in the last few days, a hummingbird has hovered inches from my face!
My life is filled with the spectacular moments and I get to experience them every day!
I am blessed for many reasons! I live on a lake on Manitoulin Island! I have three amazing children! I have a wonderful partner! I get to play golf, chop firewood, spend time in nature and write!
It doesn’t mean I don’t have moments of frustration, because I do. It also doesn’t mean I don’t get angry, because I do. But these are just moments and they pass. And then I am blessed with the next spectacular moment!
And I am particularly blessed with the awareness of spiritual consciousness, my divine nature and my oneness with the universal-energetic-intelligence! I am blessed with love!
Yes, my life is awesome!
Trembling isn’t the most troublesome symptom I experience. That distinction goes to loss of balance and freezing, with an honourable mention to constipation. I attribute the minimal trembling I experience to the bodywork I am doing, namely, four chiropractic treatments a month. [A few years ago when I started doing Body Stress Relief therapy, the trembling I was experiencing was reduced by about 75%]