It seems that I have come into this life to immerse myself in fear. To know it intimately. And I suspect, at some point, to overcome it in order to enact my innate self-love and recover my health. My childhood years were characterized by a culture of fear. As I wrote in an earlier blog, I was scared all the time. What scared me most, was that people would find out just how scared I was, because I put on a brave front.
Although this is all behind me now and I understand the purpose of my experience, I would love to have had the conversation below with my father while I was growing up. This dialogue is meant to be a script to help me retrain my mind and remap my brain in order to let go of fear. I hope you find it helpful and I urge you to keep reading it everyday, as I will be. I expect that I will be updating it as I receive new ideas. I wish you fearlessness and good health!
This morning I realized I have been feeling a lot of apprehension about living here on Manitoulin Island this winter. It’s the same sort of angst I was feeling about moving here in the first place and it seems to have crept up on me unwittingly. Then I was concerned about moving 6 hours away from my family, living in isolation on a lake 15 minutes from town, by myself for two weeks of the month. So far, it has been great!
Recovering from this neurological condition [parkinson’s]] is mostly about restoring body chemistry. It’s about ‘convincing’ the neurotransmitters that are produced in our brains [mostly dopamine and serotonin] and the hormones that are produced in our endocrine system [mostly adrenaline and cortisol] to return to normal levels. We want more dopamine and serotonin and less adrenaline and cortisol. Which the body wants as well by the way. It wants to be in homeostasis.
I have written many posts on what I believe are the essential ingredients for my recovery! For instance, a healthy diet is extremely important, as is exercise, bodywork and a good attitude. So too, is eliminating stress! Stress of any sort works against my healing efforts. In fact, it causes the condition to worsen. In this regard, my most important challenge is to ensure that every single thought in my mind helps me to feel tranquil, joyful, loving, abundant and blissful!
It appears that I’m being presented with the opportunity to dissolve fear in a big way, perhaps once and for all. A number of situations are going on in my life presently that are bringing me face to face with fear, not the least of which, is that I’m retiring from teaching martial arts and moving to Manitoulin Island at the end of April in order to focus on recovering my health. As a result, I’ve been experiencing incredibly intense symptoms, particularly loss of balance and trembling.
Experiencing a neurological condition has undoubtedly been the greatest challenge of my life. It tests me every single day! It has also been the greatest learning experience of my life! It has taught me a great deal about my body and about life itself! And so, based on what I have learned, I offer you the five essentials of what I believe to be the key to why I have fared relatively well given how long I have been experiencing this condition [at least 13 years] and why I believe I will recover.