It has now been almost nine months since I started taking medication. I started in December, 2018, after experiencing the symptoms of PD medication-free for almost 17 years. I was pretty much forced into this decision after worrying myself into a state of extreme anxiety and immobility and a hospital stay.
Initially, I was put on a combination of Sinemet [6 tablets a day … 100 mg levodopa and 25 mg of carbidopa per tab] and Zoloft [50 mg per day]. Within a week, I regained my mobility and was back home shoveling snow. It was a dramatic change!
The quality of our experience is largely determined by the quality of our thoughts! This is particularly true for anyone experiencing the symptoms of Parkinson’s. Generally speaking, if we have positive thoughts, we will have positive experiences.
But where do our thoughts come from? Where do they originate and what determines their quality?
It seems that I have come into this life to immerse myself in fear. To know it intimately. And I suspect, at some point, to overcome it in order to enact my innate self-love and recover my health. My childhood years were characterized by a culture of fear. As I wrote in an earlier blog, I was scared all the time. What scared me most, was that people would find out just how scared I was, because I put on a brave front.
Although this is all behind me now and I understand the purpose of my experience, I would love to have had the conversation below with my father while I was growing up. This dialogue is meant to be a script to help me retrain my mind and remap my brain in order to let go of fear. I hope you find it helpful and I urge you to keep reading it everyday, as I will be. I expect that I will be updating it as I receive new ideas. I wish you fearlessness and good health!
Remapping the brain! It’s what the book, The Brain’s Way of Healing, by Norman Doidge, is all about. Dr. Joe Dispenza discusses it at length in his book, You are the Placebo. Both authors take the position that any neurological condition can be overcome by creating new synapses and neural pathways in the brain.
I, admittedly, was hesitant to write this post. I didn’t want to be seen as a negative Nellie. Nor did I want to rain on anybody’s parade or dash anybody’s hopes. But I also think it’s important not to give people false hope.
When I was training in martial arts, my instructor regularly reminded us of the self defense adage: expect nothing and be ready for anything! This philosophy applies as much to life as it does to self defense situations.
One of the more significant challenges I face living with a neurotransmitter condition [parkinson’s] is coping with anxiety. This morning, I experienced it in spades when I made an appearance on our local cable television station. I was filming a segment on martial arts and even though I’ve been on the show several times and know the hosts very well, I was still feeling enormous anxiety. It was in part, magnified by how I have been feeling about my father’s deteriorating health. I have also been feeling a lot of anxiety about announcing changes to our program at the karate club. I think they’re very positive changes, but you never know how people are going to react. As an example, while most of the world celebrated the end of apartheid in South Africa in 1989, there were many people [including people in positions of power] who didn’t. You just never know!
Homeostasis is the innate tendency of the body to seek and maintain a condition of balance or equilibrium within its internal environment, even when faced with external changes. In other words, it wants to be in a normal state. For example, the body always wants to be at a temperature of 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit. When body temperature rises above 98.6, it sweats in order to cool down. When it falls below 98.6, the body shivers in order to generate heat. The human body truly is a miracle!