I’m riding a bucking bronco! Bobbing on a stormy sea! Being tossed about on the Salt & Pepper Shaker ride at the fair! For the last three months I have been on a heck of a ride on my journey to recovery! Triggered by medical marijuana, I have been processing and purging fear and other long buried emotional stuff that has left me feeling panicky, anxious, frustrated and experiencing very intense symptoms! It has been a challenge!
For many people experiencing the neurological condition known as Parkinson’s disease, anxiety is one of the more common and challenging symptoms.
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. It is an expression of fear, created by a thought. Given the challenges of the symptoms and given what the future holds for those who consider their condition to be incurable, it is no doubt that anxiety is so common.
I’m excited to announce that my new book, The History Teacher 2.0, has just been published. I am very excited [and very optimistic]! It’s a really good book with the potential to help anyone who may be struggling, including those experiencing a neurological condition.
It seems that I have come into this life to immerse myself in fear. To know it intimately. And I suspect, at some point, to overcome it in order to enact my innate self-love and recover my health. My childhood years were characterized by a culture of fear. As I wrote in an earlier blog, I was scared all the time. What scared me most, was that people would find out just how scared I was, because I put on a brave front.
Although this is all behind me now and I understand the purpose of my experience, I would love to have had the conversation below with my father while I was growing up. This dialogue is meant to be a script to help me retrain my mind and remap my brain in order to let go of fear. I hope you find it helpful and I urge you to keep reading it everyday, as I will be. I expect that I will be updating it as I receive new ideas. I wish you fearlessness and good health!
This morning I realized I have been feeling a lot of apprehension about living here on Manitoulin Island this winter. It’s the same sort of angst I was feeling about moving here in the first place and it seems to have crept up on me unwittingly. Then I was concerned about moving 6 hours away from my family, living in isolation on a lake 15 minutes from town, by myself for two weeks of the month. So far, it has been great!
My journey with a neurological condition has been a tremendous learning experience! It has taught me so much, not just about recovering my health, but also about myself, life and spirituality! I can safely say that I am a far better person and far more knowledgeable than I would be otherwise! Despite my daily challenges I feel immeasurably enriched and very optimistic about my future!
Recovering from this neurological condition [parkinson’s]] is mostly about restoring body chemistry. It’s about ‘convincing’ the neurotransmitters that are produced in our brains [mostly dopamine and serotonin] and the hormones that are produced in our endocrine system [mostly adrenaline and cortisol] to return to normal levels. We want more dopamine and serotonin and less adrenaline and cortisol. Which the body wants as well by the way. It wants to be in homeostasis.
Contrary to the language used on most parkinson’s disease websites, I do not consider myself to be battling parkinson’s. Nor do I think of myself as suffering from a disease. What you fight, fights back! When you believe you are suffering from something, you put yourself in victimhood! I’m not fighting with anything and I’m certainly not suffering!
Deepak Chopra says anger is an inflammatory emotion. Parkinson’s is considered to be an inflammatory condition. Until I understood the role of fear in the development of the neurological condition [parkinson’s] I’m experiencing, I thought anger was the root cause. I still believe that anger plays a role, so it is important to understand it in order to dissolve it so that recovery is possible.