I recently watched a Super Soul Conversation Oprah Winfrey conducted with Gary Zukov, author of Seat of the Soul. During their delightful chat, I was reminded of how important it is for me to acknowledge and be grateful for the wonderful gifts of this Parkinson’s experience!
The last four months has been a remarkable journey of ebbs and flows, fearful moments and spiritual insights, culminating in a renewed focus on acceptance, surrender, gratitude, forgiveness and love!
In my last post, I wrote about how much I enjoy shoveling snow. I really like exercising in the fresh air! As much as I enjoy it though, it has really been messing me up, leaving me experiencing more intense symptoms! The same is true for playing golf, writing and other activities I undertake.
Conflict arises when one party tries to impose its will on another party and the second party resists, or worse still, counters by trying to impose its will on the first party.
We are presently having such an experience on the road we live on!
I am presently in the midst of an intense healing period. I’m grateful to say that a few blog readers are doing the same protocol and we are sharing our experience. I’m so happy not to be doing this alone. The healing we’re doing is based on a protocol developed by Janice Walton-Hadlock of pdrecovery.org. Walton-Hadlock believes that Parkinson’s disease is not the result of being in a chronic fight-or-flight state of fear, but rather, it is from being in a chronic “pause” state of fear or from being in a chronic “disassociative” state of fear.
A few weeks ago I started waking up in the middle of the night feeling a bit panicky. It was due to some tightness in my throat [causing me to want to swallow repeatedly] and my tongue sticking to the top of my mouth. It was making think I might suffocate. I knew it was nothing serious [I wasn’t going to suffocate], but still, it was really starting to play on my mind… freak me out! I think it was triggered by the medical marijuana I was taking, because I was also feeling a lot of emotional upheaval during the day. I was getting to the point where I was scared to go to bed. I was doing everything I could to make the feeling go away, but it wasn’t working!
For many people experiencing the neurological condition known as Parkinson’s disease, anxiety is one of the more common and challenging symptoms.
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. It is an expression of fear, created by a thought. Given the challenges of the symptoms and given what the future holds for those who consider their condition to be incurable, it is no doubt that anxiety is so common.
Our journeys, diverse
Our challenges, varied
As I sit here watching snow falling on this tranquil Sunday afternoon [we’ve received over seven feet so far this winter] I am reminded of the trepidation I was feeling last fall about spending my first winter on Manitoulin Island. The source of my uneasiness… among other things, tending to a 150 yard long driveway, mostly by myself [Mari is away two weeks every month] on an island known for lots of snow! Turns out my concerns were mostly unfounded.