I’m riding a bucking bronco! Bobbing on a stormy sea! Being tossed about on the Salt & Pepper Shaker ride at the fair! For the last three months I have been on a heck of a ride on my journey to recovery! Triggered by medical marijuana, I have been processing and purging fear and other long buried emotional stuff that has left me feeling panicky, anxious, frustrated and experiencing very intense symptoms! It has been a challenge!
You’ve probably heard the story of Thomas Edison’s quest to create the light bulb. I’m paraphrasing here, but supposedly Edison tried many, many times unsuccessfully to create the light bulb before he finally did it. When asked if he ever felt like a failure, Edison responded by saying, “No, I just discovered 1000 different ways not to make a light bulb.”
It seems that I have come into this life to immerse myself in fear. To know it intimately. And I suspect, at some point, to overcome it in order to enact my innate self-love and recover my health. My childhood years were characterized by a culture of fear. As I wrote in an earlier blog, I was scared all the time. What scared me most, was that people would find out just how scared I was, because I put on a brave front.
Although this is all behind me now and I understand the purpose of my experience, I would love to have had the conversation below with my father while I was growing up. This dialogue is meant to be a script to help me retrain my mind and remap my brain in order to let go of fear. I hope you find it helpful and I urge you to keep reading it everyday, as I will be. I expect that I will be updating it as I receive new ideas. I wish you fearlessness and good health!
I, admittedly, was hesitant to write this post. I didn’t want to be seen as a negative Nellie. Nor did I want to rain on anybody’s parade or dash anybody’s hopes. But I also think it’s important not to give people false hope.
Contrary to the language used on most parkinson’s disease websites, I do not consider myself to be battling parkinson’s. Nor do I think of myself as suffering from a disease. What you fight, fights back! When you believe you are suffering from something, you put yourself in victimhood! I’m not fighting with anything and I’m certainly not suffering!
This is a story I told the students this past week at the martial arts club where I teach.
I first told you about Dog in February. His mission is to help children feel good about themselves and more recently he had a very important message to convey to humanity. It was too important to tell everyone one person at a time, so he hatched a plan. He hopped on on a ship and traveled across the Pacific Ocean to China. There he made his way overland to Nepal. Once in Nepal, he headed straight for Mount Everest, the tallest mountain on the planet. The summit of Everest is so high there is insufficient oxygen to breathe and therefore, those who attempt to climb it must bring their own oxygen.