This summer, at the behest of Mari, I took up skipping and kayaking! She thought it would be good for my fitness regimen! She was right of course, but I can’t get over how challenging it has been!
Last week, I went on a fly-in fishing trip in northern Ontario, Canada. Aside from the swarms of mosquitoes and flies and the considerable back [and butt] discomfort from sitting in a boat for several hours a day, it was an awesome trip! Good for what ails you, as the saying goes!
As a follow-up to a recent post on the importance of focusing on the activities needed to return my body to homeostasis I would also like to bring attention to the importance of accepting my condition. Every moment I spend thinking about wanting to be better, I’m taking my mind out of the present moment and placing it in the future, and thus, putting myself in a state of wanting… a state of stress.
In his book, Lucky Man, Michael J Fox calls himself a lucky man! He credits experiencing a health condition with making him a better person! I feel the same way!
“Damn it!” I snapped.
“What’s the matter?” my concerned friend asked.
“I lost my balance and almost fell again!”
“Are you okay?”
You’ve probably heard the story of Thomas Edison’s quest to create the light bulb. I’m paraphrasing here, but supposedly Edison tried many, many times unsuccessfully to create the light bulb before he finally did it. When asked if he ever felt like a failure, Edison responded by saying, “No, I just discovered 1000 different ways not to make a light bulb.”
In my quest to understand and dissolve the fear that led to the neurological condition I am experiencing, I continue to receive new ideas and perspectives that will eventually lead to a breakthrough and recovery.
I woke up this morning feeling better than I have felt in a long time. The last week has been particularly challenging mainly due to the fear I have been feeling!
It seems that I have come into this life to immerse myself in fear. To know it intimately. And I suspect, at some point, to overcome it in order to enact my innate self-love and recover my health. My childhood years were characterized by a culture of fear. As I wrote in an earlier blog, I was scared all the time. What scared me most, was that people would find out just how scared I was, because I put on a brave front.
Although this is all behind me now and I understand the purpose of my experience, I would love to have had the conversation below with my father while I was growing up. This dialogue is meant to be a script to help me retrain my mind and remap my brain in order to let go of fear. I hope you find it helpful and I urge you to keep reading it everyday, as I will be. I expect that I will be updating it as I receive new ideas. I wish you fearlessness and good health!