In my last post, I discussed how to be at peace with the past. An equally important issue to resolve for those intent on recovering their health is minimizing fear, which is to say, minimizing worry and stress.
I was initially planning to post this blog for the benefit of those of us experiencing the symptoms of Parkinson’s, but in this time of worry and concern in relation to the coronavirus, it seems appropriate for a wider audience.
It has been two months since my last post on my journey experiencing the symptoms of Parkinson’s. Since that post, my journey has taken an abrupt turn!
When I was diagnosed with PD in 2008, I made the decision at that time to deal with it naturally. The neurologist who diagnosed me explained that the only way to treat PD was with medication. I said, no thank you. I felt confident that I could overcome the condition by healing the emotional root cause … the same way I had overcome food sensitivities and migraine headaches.
In 1983, I joined a market research company. A few months into the job, I did a presentation to a client accompanied by my account senior and group manager. It wasn’t my first presentation. Every time I looked up during the presentation, my manager was feverishly writing notes, which I took to mean he didn’t like what he was seeing and I started to become unglued. It got so bad that at one point, the Eastern regional sales manager asked me to explain the numbers on a chart, and my response was, “I don’t know, that’s just the way they came out of the computer.” The moment I uttered the words, I knew I had blown it and the presentation went downhill from there. By the end of it, I was a total mess! Afterwards, neither my account senior or manager said anything, but on the way out of the building I declared to myself that I would never let that happen again. And for the next 23 years, I didn’t!
I recently made a similar declaration as it relates to my experience with the symptoms of Parkinson’s.
I’m riding a bucking bronco! Bobbing on a stormy sea! Being tossed about on the Salt & Pepper Shaker ride at the fair! For the last three months I have been on a heck of a ride on my journey to recovery! Triggered by medical marijuana, I have been processing and purging fear and other long buried emotional stuff that has left me feeling panicky, anxious, frustrated and experiencing very intense symptoms! It has been a challenge!
In my quest to understand and dissolve the fear that led to the neurological condition I am experiencing, I continue to receive new ideas and perspectives that will eventually lead to a breakthrough and recovery.
It seems that I have come into this life to immerse myself in fear. To know it intimately. And I suspect, at some point, to overcome it in order to enact my innate self-love and recover my health. My childhood years were characterized by a culture of fear. As I wrote in an earlier blog, I was scared all the time. What scared me most, was that people would find out just how scared I was, because I put on a brave front.
Although this is all behind me now and I understand the purpose of my experience, I would love to have had the conversation below with my father while I was growing up. This dialogue is meant to be a script to help me retrain my mind and remap my brain in order to let go of fear. I hope you find it helpful and I urge you to keep reading it everyday, as I will be. I expect that I will be updating it as I receive new ideas. I wish you fearlessness and good health!