The last four months has been a remarkable journey of ebbs and flows, fearful moments and spiritual insights, culminating in a renewed focus on acceptance, surrender, gratitude, forgiveness and love!
It began in August. Thanks to a conversation with Mari, I decided to change my focus slightly, from ‘returning my body to homeostasis,’ to ‘raising my vibrational frequency.’ I did this because we are energetic beings, and for me, it’s a more practical and positive approach!
Then at the beginning of September, I also decided to change the focus of my weekly blog posts to write about special moments, largely involving interactions with nature. My intention was to be more uplifting, more joyful, recognizing that living with the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease is very stressful. Also, I have written just about everything there is to write as it relates to what I know about this neurological condition.
These two decisions seemed to kickstart a roller coaster ride of introspection, insights, discovery and understanding. It began when I started experiencing intense anger again and I realized that I’m addicted to anger because it helps me overcome fear. Where fear is my kryptonite, anger is my Superman. So I decided the best approach was to treat it like any other addiction and completely abstain from it [prior to this, I thought the best approach was to express it and release it, but it became apparent, that this was going to be a never-ending endeavor].
Next, I created a five step process for dissolving fear which initially I thought was the solution I’ve been looking for all along. Then I had a ‘duh’ moment when I realized that by focusing on dissolving fear I was unwittingly continually creating it [the opposite of what I wanted] because in order to dissolve fear you have to be in a state of fear. So I decided I would be best served to place my focus on love [the opposite of fear].
This five step process evolved out of an insight I had that helped me overcome my fear of death. The insight was that I have a choice… I can spend the rest of my life being afraid of death [or anything else for that matter], or I can choose to celebrate life and be grateful for the opportunity I’ve been given to participate in the flow of life and contribute to the expansion of love in the universe. I remind myself of this [out loud] every day!
At around the same time, I had another insight… the universal-energetic-intelligence [God], which is pure divine love, wishes to expand itself [expand love] through experience, through my experience and the experience of every other entity in the universe. We are the vessels for the universal-energetic-intelligence to express and expand itself. In other words, I was meant to have this Parkinson’s experience. The universal-energetic-intelligence wanted me to have it. My soul wanted me to have it. As such, the best thing I can do to contribute to this expansion of love [whether I recover my health or not] is to completely surrender to the will and wisdom of the universal-energetic-intelligence and approach every experience [including this Parkinson’s experience] from an attitude of love, by being kind, compassionate, generous, forgiving, grateful, and by living in spiritual consciousness! And I can do this!
It also occurred to me that my body [this Parkinson’s body] is a moment by moment reflection of my thoughts, and therefore, I need to focus my thoughts on love. So I am retraining my thoughts and repatterning my brain to focus on love, by constantly saying out loud what I love. For example, “I love watching deer!” “I love living at the lake!”
Then in November, Mari encouraged me to be more organized and more disciplined as it relates to my daily recovery protocol…the various physical exercises and spiritual practices I undertake each day. I have an Excel spreadsheet that I use to track my activities. So I significantly expanded my list of activities and have been very diligent in completing them. [I will be posting a separate blog about my daily recovery protocol, shortly.]
Between my focus on love and my focus on my daily protocol, I have been feeling much better and more confident and encouraged than I have felt in a long time!
It’s all about love!
Every day, as part of my daily protocol, and in addition to the “I love” affirmations I repeat throughout the day, I am also repeating the following affirmations and prayers:
- The universal energetic intelligence, which is pure divine love, wishes to expand itself, expand love throughout the universe, through experience, through my experience and the experience of every other entity in the universe. We are the vessels for the expression and expansion of love! The best thing I can do to contribute to this expansion is to lovingly surrender to the will and wisdom of the universal energetic intelligence and to approach every situation with an attitude of love by being kind, compassionate, generous, forgiving and grateful, and by living in spiritual consciousness!
- Today I choose to celebrate life! I choose to enjoy the journey and embraced the adventure! I am humbly grateful for the opportunity I’ve been given to participate in the flow of life and the expansion of love in the universe!
- The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want! Spirit makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters! Spirit restores my soul and leads me down a path of spiritual awakening for my highest good! Spirit helps me feel good about myself! Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of impermanence I shall fear no darkness, for thou art with me! Thy love and compassion they comfort me! You help me to forgive those who treat me unkindly, and you help me to let go of my past and live in the present moment! My life is filled with abundance! Surely peace, love, joy, abundance and bliss will be with me all the rest of my days! And I will live in spiritual consciousness forever! Namaste!