In my last post, I wrote about how much I enjoy shoveling snow. I really like exercising in the fresh air! As much as I enjoy it though, it has really been messing me up, leaving me experiencing more intense symptoms! The same is true for playing golf, writing and other activities I undertake.
So this morning I decided to have a conversation with the universal-energetic-intelligence to get some insights on this experience, and here is what I received. Shoveling snow represents the need to be perfect in order to receive approval [and love], but paradoxically, it also represents a fear of being criticized for not doing a proper job. It represents the fear of failure. You see, when we were growing up, we were expected to do everything perfectly, and when we didn’t, we would be criticized, yelled at and even punished! To add to this, the perfection I was seeking could never be achieved because no matter how well I did something, there would always be criticism! That was just the way it was!
I’m not telling you this from the point of view of a victim or because I want you to feel sorry for me. Rather, this is about understanding and healing!
With this awareness, I can begin to heal this experience by first of all, understanding that it is in essence an illusion because the initial wounding occurred at a time when I and my parents were spiritually unconscious and didn’t feel good about ourselves. We didn’t feel loved. What is more, my parents were acting in accordance with what they had learned in their lives up to that point. If we had been spiritually conscious, if we had all felt good about ourselves and if my parents had been raised to be more loving and compassionate, it would’ve been an entirely different experience!
This understanding is forgiveness, the root of all healing!
Next, I need to be diligently aware of the thoughts I am thinking while I’m undertaking these activities. I need to ensure that my thoughts are loving and kind. This will help me create new synapses and neural pathways in my brain so that eventually the experience will have a more positive affect!
It fascinates me how present-day experiences, no matter how joyful, can trigger unconscious, unresolved emotional pain from the past! What a journey!
Wishing you an extraordinary day!