Yesterday I attended a celebration of life for my mother’s youngest sister. She was actually a half sister, only two years older than me, and was more of a cousin than an aunt. Kathy passed away last weekend after a three year effort to overcome cancer, which had spread to her brain.
Attending the ceremony had quite an affect on the symptoms I experience, particularly loss of balance and freezing. When I got home, I was a mess. I had considerable difficulty doing anything that involved standing.
Actually, it started the day before when I made the decision go to the ceremony. Despite my best efforts to remain tranquil [I practiced conscious breathing and staying in the moment], I felt very stressed and it carried over to yesterday. It confounds me how deeply affected I am by death, despite my spiritual outlook and belief that this human experience is only temporary.
In order to right the ship, I’ve been doing a lot of exercising, including martial arts exercises, qigong and calisthenics. It has been helping, but I’m still feeling it.
This experience has reinforced my belief that tranquility is essential for recovery. It has also reinforced my commitment to live my life with acceptance, trust and faith. In other words, live in spiritual consciousness.
In the meantime, I have to begin preparing myself for another celebration of life next weekend for a man who was one of my father’s closest friends and the father of two of my closest friends. He to succumbed to cancer. This will likely be a very difficult and challenging experience, but there’s no avoiding it and I know I will get through it.
It has been said that God never gives us more than we can handle. That may be true, but I think God will push us to our limit in order to truly test us and guide us to our purpose. I give thanks for everything I’ve learned that will see me through this experience.
Have an awesomely tranquil day!