I am so proud of you! The importance of self belief!

happiness“I am so proud of you!”

Six words that could change a child’s life! Change anyone’s life!

Six words that could wash away self doubt, obliterate the belief that we’re not good enough!

Self doubt! It’s what we experience when we are raised to not believe in ourselves. It stems from excessive criticism, lack of praise [especially for our effort] and the burden of unrealistic expectations. It’s also the result of an overemphasis on winning or when we’re only rewarded for winning. When we don’t win, it’s easy to draw the conclusion that we have failed. Or worse still, that we are a failure!

Self doubt may also simply be part of our make up. Some of us are born, for reasons that are not necessarily apparent, insecure.

This self doubt manifests itself in many ugly ways. A maniacal desire to prove ourselves [I can attest to this]. An equally maniacal desire to win [ditto]. Fear of trying new things. Insecurity. Victimhood. Neediness. Outbursts of anger after a poor performance or loss.

We begin to believe in ourselves when we realize that our self worth is not based on our performance or what other people think or say about us and it grows when we begin to develop the courage to try anything because we trust that no matter what happens we will be okay. It may take awhile. There is considerable mental programming to undo.

As parents we can cultivate self belief by praising our children for their effort, encouraging them to try new things without expectations and teaching them to focus on doing their best. We can also encourage them to practice and become knowledgeable about the things they might want to try. Knowledge helps them develop confidence and overcome fear!

As someone who has struggled to overcome self doubt and the fear of failure, I can assure you that those six simple words can have an incredibly powerful effect.

“I am so proud of you!”

I really am!

For a more in depth look at believing in yourself, please read this article. Also, check out the blog I posted on how to develop confidence. 

Have an awesomely proud day!


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