Based on repeated experience, I’ve decided, actually, more like conclusively concluded, that the best way to combat fear is to live in the present moment … also called living in conscious presence. Actually, let me rephrase this proclamation slightly. I don’t really like the word “combat.” It implies conflict. Resistance. Let’s change it to “dissolve” fear. The reason for this conclusion, is that, again based on my experience, whenever I’m engaged in thought, I invariably end up in a thought that puts me in a state of stress or fear, which in turn causes my symptoms to intensify. The only comforting thing about this is that happens to everyone. Spiritual catalyst, Teal Swan, refers to it as ego coming in the back door. This morning, I experienced this phenomenon firsthand.
Whilst out for my morning walk, I was thinking about Mari selling her house. I was supposed to be practicing living in the present moment, but my mind was wandering [that’s why I’m practicing]. Whilst thinking about her selling the house, I got to thinking about how much money the real estate agent was about to make [lots of it] for relatively few hours of work, which in turn, got me to thinking about how relatively little money I make by comparison teaching children how to defend and feel good about themselves. Very unfair I concluded. That’s when I realized that ego had tip-toed in the back door. My thoughts had started out innocently enough [albeit, I was supposed to be practicing being in the present moment], but they quickly transitioned into something debilitating! Something very negative! As Homer Simpson would say, “Stupid negative thoughts!”
That’s the way a ego works. No matter what you start out thinking about, you almost always end up thinking about something negative. For me, something that invariably triggers fear. And as Eckhart Tolle puts it, the stronger the pain body [unresolved emotional pain], the more likely ego is to interfere.
Essentially, trying to dissolve fear by controlling your thoughts is a never-ending quest! Ego will always find a way to sneak in the back door. Practicing conscious presence [living in the present moment] is a far more effective solution. But it requires diligence and lots of practice because the egoic-mind will always want to activate.
There are a number of ways to practice:
- Focus on your breath
- Bring your attention fully to whatever task you’re performing
- Look around and observe things
- Simply look up and smile
- Do the things that you love
- Learn something new
What, you may ask, is the purpose of ego and why is it like this. I believe, and this is echoed by Tolle and Swan, that Spirit [God] wants us to live in conscious presence because this where genuine peace, love and joy are found [heaven on earth. But in order to truly understand and appreciate it, we need to experience the contrast. That is, debilitating thought. Ego!
I believe I developed a neurotransmitter disorder [parkinson’s] in order to guide me to embark on a spiritual journey that will see me dissolve ego, live in conscious presence and actualize self love. The presence of the symptoms I experience tells me I haven’t reached my destination.
Have an awesomely present day!