Sometimes this experience the medical community calls parkinson’s seems so surreal! Pulling on a sock in what seems like slow motion [because it is slow motion!]. Bumping my head into a cupboard while trying to do up the zipper on my coat. Shuffle walking up the street. Stumbling about while trying to watch one of my students practice their katas. But then I lay on the floor or practice Qigong or take off running and everything feels normal! Yes, it definitely seems surreal!
It’s hard not to compare, back to the days when my body really was normal. When I was running a marathon, playing guitar, driving my motorcycle or doing anything without my arms trembling. But comparing doesn’t help. It doesn’t make me feel better, nor does it ease the symptoms. What does help, is remembering something American pastor Joel Osteen said, “What is happening, is happening for me, not to me!”
This is a journey that is not meant to be easy. It is meant to be a challenge, because, I believe, there are important discoveries to be made and lessons to be learned, perhaps, in order to help others.
At this point, I don’t need to know the answers or the outcome. I just need to trust that I am part of a plan, a plan that perhaps only God is intimate with. But that is okay. I can live with that. Heck, if I can live with the symptoms, I can live with the mystery. It is a piece of cake by comparison!
Have an awesomely real day!