My Journey with Parkinson’s … A Natural Approach: Post 135 … How I Feel!

julianne mooreI recently watched an interview with Julianne Moore, Golden Globe Award winner for her role in the movie, Still Alice. Still Alice tells a poignant story of a woman who develops early onset Alzheimer’s. In a scene from the movie, Alice is speaking with her daughter, played by Kirsten Stewart. Her daughter asks her what it feels like to have Alzheimer’s.

I realized watching this scene that I rarely tell people how I feel about having Parkinson’s. [Well, to begin with, I don’t really think of it as Parkinson’s Disease, because what it really is, is a neurotransmitter imbalance, but for simplicity’s sake and because most people refer to it as Parkinson’s, I will do the same for this post.]

How I have felt about this condition has changed over the years. For the first couple of years after diagnosis, I really didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary. Perhaps I was experiencing blissful ignorance. I thought Parkinson’s was just trembling and the trembling wasn’t too bad, so I wasn’t worried. If anything, I felt very confident that I would overcome the condition. Then in 2010, as the trembling worsened and I started developing more symptoms, blissful ignorance was replaced by concern [although, not enough concern to dampen my belief that I would heal myself]. By late 2013 and early 2014 I was worrying constantly about my worsening condition and lack of success in healing myself. Then in March of 2014, worry turned into outright fear when I started having panic attacks over the thoughts of becoming completely immobile. Fortunately, I learned a great deal in a short period of time about the role of fear in the onset of Parkinson’s, so I got through it very quickly.

These days, what I’m feeling much of the time could be characterized by one word, frustration! The frustration has mostly to do with struggling to do all the tasks that I used to do without thinking about them. Things like, ironing my clothes, opening an avocado, pulling up my pants, folding the laundry, doing up zippers, etc.

I do also get frustrated with the symptoms I experience from the standpoint of the relentlessness of the issues and false beliefs that keep coming at me that I need to resolve that are at the root of these symptoms. But at the same time, I am very encouraged by what I am resolving and what I am learning through this process.

I suspect the frustration I’m feeling wouldn’t surprise most neurologists given that the neurotransmitter imbalance that is PD, leaves one feeling, at the best of times, very irritable. But then this inspires me to practice acceptance, which is a good thing.

What I am also feeling, and what I’ve felt since the beginning [it was only dampened during that brief period of time when I was dealing with panic attacks] is optimism! I have believed since day one that I would recover my health and when I learned about Bianca Molle, John Coleman and Howard Shifke achieving full recovery, my optimism went through the roof and it remains sky high.

I think it is important to talk about how you feel, particularly if you’re feeling scared or depressed or angry. But do so without putting yourself in victimhood. Realize that what you are experiencing has a purpose, even if that purpose isn’t apparent at the moment. And speak to someone with a compassionate outlook and who is not prone to passing judgment.

If you want, send me e-mail and tell me how you feel. I will be happy to reply!

In the meantime, have an awesomely optimistic day!


21 comments on “My Journey with Parkinson’s … A Natural Approach: Post 135 … How I Feel!

  1. I can relate to all the feelings that you have had over the same amount of time dealing with this glitch in my brain wiring called parkinsons. I don’t even like to capitalize the word / name because it gives it more credibility. Since I succumbed after much resistance to taking the levodopa I have had a much better quality of life. I realize it’s only managing the symptoms however I still cheat by just taking a half a pill instead of a whole pill and until just recently it has worked very well for me. I’m tempted to go to the one pill now 3 times a day but I’m holding off as long as I can and dealing with the symptoms based on the experience I went through without any medication I am able to deal with the off times for longer and easier than if I wouldn’t have experienced all of panic, stiffness, frustration, debilitation, symptoms of not taking the medicine. my life is definitely easier now and I appreciate that but I’m sure that we will overcome and beat this dis-ease. In enough time I feel my brain will repair itself with the right diet and exercise and a good positive attitude but like everything else sometimes you just need a little help.


    • Thank you for your message shedip! I understand your decision and I hope you are able to go meds-free as soon as possible. Have you tried Qigong? It’s awesome and I’m pretty much symptom-free when I’m practicing!


      • Yes Fred, I have tried yoga and all kinds of things and I still do a lot of it now. Like I said I was doing everything holistically without any medication for 5 years. I tried everything on the planet and the things that seem to work best for me now are lymphatic massages, meditation, Eckhart Tolle staying in the now, playing my ukulele, swimming, exercise of all kinds. Just trying to stay ahead of it. I just love reading your blog…… thank you for contributing to everyones wellbeing. Be well.

      • That’s awesome shedip! I’m thrilled to hear that you are doing well! That in itself is an accomplishment! And thank you so much for your kind words! I really appreciate it!


  2. I am 1.5 years our from my pd diagnoses with very few symptoms but I do fear what is to come. I also am not taking med’s and feel that as of today coconut oil in lemon water is helping.

    • Thank you for your message Brian! I hope you are well! I can’t urge you enough to take action now before the symptoms start to worsen, because if you don’t, they will worsen. I would suggest doing the following: first, purify your diet. Eliminate all processed foods, junk food, fast food, processed sugar, dairy, wheat, artificial sweeteners, MSG, factory farm meat, farmed fish, margarine, alcohol, drugs, etc. Second, eliminate as much stress from your life as you can [stress is definitely at the root of PD]. Third, forgive anybody you need to forgive, including yourself for any wrongdoing or mistreatment in your life! This is critical! Fourth, take up Qigong. Bianca Molle and Howard Shifke credit an extensive Qigong practice with their full recovery. Fifth, read Robert Rodgers book [road to recovery from parkinson’s disease], John Coleman’s book [stop parkin and start livin] and Bianca Molle’s book [reboot and rejoice]. All are available on Amazon. Sixth, check out Howard Shifke’s web site. He details his entire story and recovery program on it.

      I hope this helps and best wishes on your journey!

    • Hello Brian
      I believe that diet is all important in trying to reverse or slow down the progress of PD. It is much better to start sooner rather than later, before your symptoms worsen thereby making it far more difficult to achieve your aims.
      Why not read up on either the Wahls Paleo plus ketogenic diet or the Paleo diet as described by Robb Wolf.

      • Bran, I agree, diet is so very important! I think the most important of all and if you can start it early it’s so beneficial to your progress in managing symptoms and hopefully reversing any progression.. I eat avocados in smoothies, Norwegian fish oil and coconut oil works very well for me too. Check out the diets that Adrian and Fred suggest and you should be way ahead of the game. Blessings to you Brian.

  3. Thank you Fred for your email. I do appreciate receiving your posts. I feel exactly like you – the frustration of being so slow and fumble doing the things I never used to think about. Also, like you, I believe Parkinsons is curable and am really encouraged by Howard Shifke. My legs are my main issue and turning in bed at night and I often do the qugong exercises then as Howard suggests, but it doesn’t always work and some days I feel hanging! I certainly feel the heat of the battle especially at night, but tell myself there is no victory unless there is a battle. Also, I have had emotional issues to deal with – I see it all as part of my healing. Parkinsons is definitely a neurotransmitter imbalance. Somehow you just know that’s what it is, and I am learning all the time in spite of what’s going on physically. Bless you Fred, thanks again for sharing your journey. Cynthia (from England) 😊

    Sent from my iPad


    • You have an awesome outlook Cynthia! Dealing with this condition is certainly a roller-coaster ride both physically and emotionally and that’s why it is so important to have a positive attitude! If it was easy, we probably wouldn’t learn what we need to learn!

      Have an awesome day in England!

    • Hello Cynthia
      Re neurotransmitter imbalance, I read today that Siberian Ginseng is an adaptogen which has four neurotransmitters, two of which are dopamine and serotonin. Whether or not they can help over the long term I have no idea. It might be worth investigating further.
      As for the difficulty in turning over in bed’ have you considered asking your neuro physiotherapist? They can give you techniques to do this easier. I know this to be true as I also live in the UK and the NHS can help you.

    • Hi Cynthia. A couple of other things you might wanna consider as it relates to turning over in bed. I find that big, aggressive movements really help me. I fling the sheets back and literally jump into bed. Same thing when I’m in bed. When I want to roll over, I do so aggressively. You might also want to do knee raises [esp before bed] and wall sits. They will strengthen your legs. Push ups are awesome and also very helpful. Finally, try sleeping in the buff. Makes things much easier!

      I hope this helps!

  4. Hi Fred

    Thanks as always for sharing.

    I ate sugar and wheat over the holidays and have had a bad flare up with issues with my hands so I hear you on zippers, etc. Because of Brian’s MS I have to fill both our cars up with gas – I actually thought I might not be able to open Brian’s gas cap the others – day and thought oh my this is not good and finally used 2 hands, was sore and got it open. Came home and thought well Kevin is not 16 and gas pump says have to be 16 to pump but I thought hmm he’ll be 15 soon and I would not have him pump but would have him just open the tank. But one want’s to keep one’s independence esp with Brian already limited so this morning I thought well Canadian Tire or somewhere must sell easier to open gas tank caps so I should look into that and hey arthritis society probably has ideas. Too bad we no longer have a we serve place in town – that really cut into Brian’s independence when the 2 local ones closed their pumps. But I remember Brian’s motto adapt, improvise, overcome so here we go. Like you I am very optimistic that I will lick this – I have been doing a lot of visualization on healing. I am also going to see an osteopath that comes to Keswick on Saturdays as I have heard good things about him. Soon I hope to visit Esther again for some electromagnetic balancing as that helps me a lot. I bet your symptoms were gone in Estonia as there they probably don’t radiate their people all the time with EMFs everywhere.

    Take care and thx again for your blog and your sharing

    DeeAnn Date: Sun, 18 Jan 2015 14:30:16 +0000 To:

    • I am so sorry to hear that DeeAnn! I hope you’re able to get over it soon. Your family is really inspiring given all of your challenges! I’ve heard about this osteopath as well, but I’m sticking with the Body Stress Relief for the time being. It seems to be helping.

      I always look for it your messages and please continue to share your story!

  5. Dear Fred, A stranger who has since become a friend recommended your site, which has become helpful for my husband Marcus. We don’t feel the regular meds like you are helpful, but harmful. He constantly was itching and at his age 76 thin skinned creating scabs and sores all over his body. So we started gradually two months ago adding herbs to his pill taking and eliminating the prescription drugs. AS of yesterday he is totally on the herbs and his vitamins.

    He takes 1000 mg Vit C (chew-able), 8000 units Vit D (thanks to you), a multi-vit (chew-able as he has a hard time to swallow) Super B- Complex by Nature Made, and Zipfizz B12 energy (when he takes these he stays awake and doesn’t sleep during the day.

    The herbs are the now brand of Dopa Mucuna (Mucuna pruriens). He takes 3 a day with meals. 800 mg Velvet Bean Extract

    When I first researched this a doctor out of India reported That people in India don’t have PD or dementia or very few cases. So I thought I would try it for my husband. He itches less and is more alert. You can buy it online but any good health food store carries it.

    Ruth Hartman

    • Thank you so much for sharing your husband’s story Ruth. That’s both awesome and inspiring that he’s been able to get off medication. Thank you for the information about Dopa Mucuna.

      Please keep us updated on how your husband is doing and have an awesome day!

  6. It’s been a year and a half since diagnosis although I’ve had symptoms two years prior to that time. I don’t take any medications and I’ve been managing by exercise, diet, meditation and trying to sleep well. Lately, I’ve had some improvement of executive function (motivation, focus, planning, initiative, follow through) by taking concentrated fish oil that has a higher concentration of EPA and DHA. It says Zone and Dr Sears on the bottle and it was prescribed by my chiropractor. The amounts of EPA and DHA are 1800 and 900mg respectively (in a 5ml dose). I use coconut oil in cooking only. It seems that slip ups with urge incontinence have improved as well….I’ve never had a pronounced tremor. Fear is what I struggle with and I’ve had that feeling all my life. I would go so far as to say that fear and n eg activity have contributed to my PD but I am working on it!!’

    • Thank you for your message Denise! Congratulations on your decision to tackle this condition naturally! It takes great courage! I’m glad to hear you are faring well! I feel very strongly that fear is at the root of this condition and must be addressed in order to recover. It’s not easy, because quite often it is hidden fear that is at the root of the symptoms on any given day.

      Thank you for the information about the fish oil. I agree, that fish oil is extremely essential. We just have to be careful that it is not toxic.

      Best wishes on your journey and please stay in touch!

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