My Journey with Parkinson’s … A Natural Approach: Post 110 … Do I Matter?

motheringThere is something I need to get off my chest. I have a fear! Do I matter? I don’t know how or when I developed this fear. Perhaps it was the result of growing up with five brothers. Maybe I felt like I got lost in the shuffle. Actually, it doesn’t matter [pardon the pun] when or why I developed this fear, it only matters that I let it go!

A fear like this can be very debilitating because you’re constantly worried about what other people think about you.  You fear that you may have let them down.  You fear that they may not care about you.  That you are not important! The truth is whether I matter or not is mostly subjective and I have no control over it. I may matter to one person but not to another. Similarly, I may matter in this moment but not in the next. When my children were very young I’m sure I mattered to them a great deal.  I was their security and their sustenance.  But when they became teenagers, I only mattered when they needed money, a ride or permission to go to a party.  Otherwise, I think they saw me more is a nuisance.  Quite a shock to someone who was once the center of their children’s universe!

All we can do, is to do our best to have a meaningful exchange whenever we interact in any way with another person. Be the best father you can be. The best spouse you can be. The best sibling you can be. The best son or daughter you can be. Be the best employee you can be. The best manager you can be. The best teacher you can be. Be kind.  Be helpful.  Be courteous.  Be generous. And let go of the need to matter.

As long as I hold onto this fear, I’m creating stress for myself, which is working against me in my efforts to recover my health. And so, I will remind myself of two things. First, this fear is just a thought. It’s not real [I certainly have no proof that I don’t matter]. Second, as I stated above, I will do my best to have meaningful interactions with everyone I interact with.

Phew! That takes a load off my mind!

Have an awesomely meaningful day!

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2 comments on “My Journey with Parkinson’s … A Natural Approach: Post 110 … Do I Matter?

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