Case in point!
September and October are typically the two biggest sign up months at the martial arts club I own, but this past September and October enrollment was down considerably. I was quite puzzled as to why, because the club has been doing so well over the past few years and I offer a very good program at a very fair price. What is all the more puzzling, is that at the same time, readership dropped considerably on the blogs I’m writing.
Then this morning I had an insight. The reason enrollment and readership are down is because I hold the belief that I don’t deserve abundance … I don’t deserve goodness. I’ve addressed this belief before, but it makes sense to me that it is coming up again now. You see, at the same time enrollment and readership took a nosedive I was excitedly preparing to move into my new boathouse apartment on the lake. Ego, which is the home of false beliefs, couldn’t allow me to have too much goodness, and so, sabotage set in.
In my experience, this is the way ego and false beliefs work. Ego loves misery. It thrives on false beliefs and unhappiness, so when things start to go well in one part of your life, ego sabotages another part. Before I moved, I wasn’t happy where I was living [too noisy and no privacy], so ego was content. But when that changed, when I found a better place to live, the belief that I don’t deserve goodness went into high gear and down when enrollment and readership. It works this way, because false beliefs create a negative energy which has a way of turning people away from whatever it is you are offering.
What makes this all the more compelling is that back in the summer I experienced a dramatic improvement in the Parkinson’s symptoms I experience. I felt ecstatic and had grand ideas about telling the world about my experience in order to help others. Shortly thereafter, my symptoms took a turn for the worse, quite likely due to this false belief, the belief that I don’t deserve goodness in my life.
The good news is that I don’t feel defeated by this experience. In fact, I feel elated, because I can change it by reminding myself that ego is at the root of this false belief and that the true essence of me, the divine spiritual aspect of me, inherently knows that I deserve to live in abundance, just like we all do. Also, I can focus on enthusiastically expressing genuine gratitude. The expression of gratitude tells the universe that I feel deserving of both abundance and goodness. And the truth is, this is what Creator [God] wants for all of us!
The expression of gratitude and the recognition of the role of the ego in sabotaging my best intentions applies to not only enrollment at the karate club and readership on the blogs I’m writing, but on my health is well. It will help me recover my health and overcome the symptoms of Parkinson’s, and this is truly awesome!
Have an awesomely abundant day!