Sadness in your heart can mean grief, bitterness and anger, and just like fear, it can sabotage your best intentions and cause you to become sick.
In Step 6, where we talked about unconscious beliefs and hidden fears, we said that when the heart [unconscious beliefs] and mind [conscious thoughts] are in conflict, the heart always wins. If fear is in your heart, then fear will dominate your life. The same is true about sadness.
There is nothing a child needs or craves more than his or her parents’ love and acceptance. A child will even resort to negative behaviour in order to get the attention they seek. A child deprived of this love, or worse still, shown anger, hatred, fear and violence will, as Gary Chapman wrote in the Five Love Languages, feel a sense of betrayal and grow up with an empty love tank. As a result, the child may resort to all sorts of negative, addictive and sometimes violent behavior in order to seek retribution and fill the void.
If sadness is in your heart from growing up feeling unloved, chances are your love tank is empty and you are feeling unlovable, and this belief will trump any conscious efforts you undertake to feel good about yourself or improve your situation.
Sadness in your heart isn’t only the result of being mistreated by your parents. It could also be due to the loss of a close friend or family member, a marriage or family breakup, being bullied or the end of a relationship.
You can tell if there is sadness in your heart by examining the circumstances of your life. If you are experiencing a chronic illness, serious relationship issues, financial issues or unhappiness with your career, chances are, sadness in your heart is at the root of it.
You can begin to change this experience when you acknowledge the sadness and choose to treat yourself and others with compassion and forgiveness. When you know that everyone [including you and your parents] is doing the best they can with what they’ve learned [if you are taught abuse and violence, this is what you give back to the world]. then you can view them with compassion. Similarly, if you know that people mistreat others because they don’t feel good about themselves, then you can forgive. So this is not about placing blame. Blame keeps us stuck in victimhood, whereas, forgiveness empowers us.
I was able to forgive [and stop hating] the neighbourhood bully in the town where I grew up after I found out that he was beaten regularly by his abusive, alcoholic father.
In addition to practicing compassion and forgiveness, it might be helpful to release the sadness using my healing prayer [or some other effective technique]:
” Thank you God I Am for neutralizing the energetic frequency, healing and releasing from my body and my being, all of the fear, anger and unresolved emotional energy that needs to be released in order for me to let go of the sadness in my heart, and I thank you God for this healing and I thank you God for increasing the effectiveness of this healing by 100 times or more.”
Healing a dis-ease is made possible when we heal the sadness in our heart. It opens us to acceptance and love.