A few weeks ago I watched the movie Eat Pray Love, starring Julia Roberts. In the film, Roberts plays Elizabeth Gilbert, a woman searching for happiness. Part of her journey involves a stay at an ashram in India where she learns to pray and find some measure of peace. After watching the film, I thought, I would love to visit an ashram.
Then on our recent visit to Estonia, Mari [with the help of her brother] arranged a trip to Haidakhandi Shiva Dham healing center to see if they could help me in my endeavour to recover from Parkinson’s. When we arrived at the center [about half an hour south of Tallinn] we were met by a woman named Aigi [pronounced awe-ee-gee]. Even though it was an unscheduled visit, she gladly offered to help us out.
I explained my situation and Aigi guided me to several outdoor healing/meditation spots where she instructed me on what to meditate on. Two important insights came to me during the process. The first, that I need to let go of victimhood, and the second, that I need to be more forgiving of those closest to me. These insights made sense to me because I tend to be triggered when I feel mistreated [and you can only be triggered when you feel like a victim] and it is typically those closest to me who I’m triggered by, and thus need to be more forgiving towards [yes, I need to practice what I preach].
I have done healing in the past on victimhood and the need to forgive, but these insights told me that I have more healing to do. I don’t know what specific experiences in my life have caused me feel like a victim [although I did feel like I got the worst of it growing up], but I do know that in general, it has to do with feelings of powerlessness and the belief that life is unfair [which is a judgment], so perhaps it’s just a belief I developed over time. In any event, it feels like an important part of my healing process [it could be, in part, that we develop disease because we feel like a victim].
Afterwards, Aigi invited us to stay for lunch which we willingly accepted. During lunch, she told us that the center was actually an ashram. Needless to say, Mari and I were quite blown away. My wish to visit an ashram had been granted rather quickly and without me asking for it directly. Thing of beauty!
I strongly believe that healing and releasing fear, anger and unresolved emotional pain is an essential part of the recovery process and if you’re not already doing it, I strongly urge you to make it a part of your healing program.
Have an awesomely ashramic day!