How naive I was to think that once I released anger [I say this, tongue in cheek], I would begin to enjoy relief from the symptoms I experience; like trembling, shuffle walking and loss of strength and mobility. After all, anger is thought to be in inflammatory emotion and Parkinson’s is considered to be an inflammatory condition. The connection seemed a certainty. Little did I know that releasing anger was only meant to get me to the point where I could access fear, which I’ve discovered [at least for me, this is what I believe] is at the root of PD.
For the past month and a half I have been processing and releasing fear and it has been quite an experience. I said recently to Mari, ” Thank God I understand what is going on, because I don’t know how people who don’t understand the connection between fear and PD are managing on a day to day basis.” [Actually, I think I do know how people are coping. They take medication. I don’t know how else they could do it!]
Every day is an adventure [an optimistic way to describe what is really going on] of anxiety, terrifying thoughts, tension and trembling. I’m constantly reminding myself that these symptoms are simply manifestations of the fear I’m in the process of releasing.
If I didn’t understand the role of fear, I would likely have to be heavily medicated. Otherwise, I’m sure I would lose my mind … literally! Several times a day, particularly when I’m experiencing anxiety [it actually feels more like panic], I repeat the following:
“Hello fear. You are welcome to come up and leave my body. I’m not afraid of you. I’m not scared. You can’t hurt me. In fact, you’re not even real. You are a product of my thoughts. A figment of my imagination. Mostly the thoughts and imagination of a child who didn’t know better and who was never told the truth. That fear isn’t real. At least, not the fear I’ve been holding on to. So, begone fear.”
I also repeat my healing prayer whenever I’m experiencing a specific symptom [such as trembling or tension]. It goes like this:
” Thank you God I Am for neutralizing the energetic frequency, healing and releasing from my body and my being, all of the fear, anger and unresolved emotional energy at the root of the trembling [or tension, etc.] that I’m experiencing, and I thank you God for this healing and I thank you God for increasing effectiveness is healing by 100 times or more.”
I believe fear is the ultimate challenge I’m meant to overcome. I have a choice. I can lay hostage to my fears or I can face them. It’s up to me.
In a recent interview, actress Jenny McCarthy, spoke about having to face her fears, including the fear of public speaking [hard to believe given that she’s a successful actress and TV personality]. It gives me comfort knowing that I’m not alone in this endeavor.
Last year, I made up a list of the goals I wanted to achieve. At the top of the list, I wrote, ‘achieve peace of mind.’ It’s not surprising then that releasing fear has become my primary preoccupation, because how can I have peace of mind when I’m holding on to fear? I can’t!
And so, emboldened by this awareness I’m tackling fear with a vengeance, confident that as I face it and release it from my body, I will begin to heal and the symptoms I’m experiencing will indeed go away!
Have an awesomely fearless day!