How to Develop Confidence

Is there a better feeling than that which comes from having confidence in what you are doing. It puts a smile on your face. It relaxes your muscles. Time seems to slow down.

Feeling confident, or believing in yourself, is an important aspect of living with peace of mind. It minimizes stress and boosts the enjoyment factor.

There are two elements to having confidence:

  1. Confidence in yourself
  2. Confidence in what you do

It is possible to have confidence in yourself, but not necessarily have confidence in everything you do. Similarly, it is possible to have confidence in certain things you do even when you don’ t have confidence in yourself.

Having confidence in yourself primarily comes from feeling good about yourself. Actually these two things are pretty much synonymous because it’s hard to feel confident when you don’t feel good about yourself, and it’s hard to feel good about yourself when you lack confidence. When you feel good about yourself you feel lovable, worthy, empowered and especially, adequate … you feel good enough … and this implies confidence.

This is why it is so essential to raise children to feel good about themselves. Children with high self esteem are confident and happy children.

Confidence in what you do comes from five things:

  1. Focusing on doing your best
  2. Knowledge
  3. Practice
  4. Knowing that it’s okay to fail or not be good at something
  5. Loving what you are doing

1. Focusing on doing your best:

This instils confidence because when you focus on doing your best, you can never fail. It also encourages you to stay in the moment because at each point in time you are focused on doing the best you can (not winning or being the best).

2. Knowledge:

Can you imagine standing before an audience and making a speech about something of which you know nothing. How confident would you feel? I’d be sweating bullets … no, more like bombs, big bombs … and shaking like a leaf!  It is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to feel confident about something when you know little or nothing about it.

Fortunately, these days with the Internet, it’s pretty easy to acquire knowledge. for example, a few years ago, I spilled a glass of red wine on a beige rug … seriously! For a moment, I was in panic mode. I was sure the rug was ruined! Then I thought, ‘aha, the Internet.’ I found a video on Youtube that explained what to do (mix vinegar and dish soap in warm water and dab it on the stain) and brimming with confidence, I cleaned it up … and there was no stain when I was done!

The more you know, the more confident you feel about it (as the old saying goes, knowledge equals confidence). If you want to be confident about something, be knowledgeable about it.

3. Practice:

The better you get at something, the more confidence you feel and the best way to get better at something, is practice, under experienced guidance.

When singer Rod Stewart (Maggie May) came to North America, during his first performance, he was so scared that he stood behind the speakers for the first couple of songs. Eventually, he came out from behind the speakers and if you’ve seen him perform lately, you know he does so with plenty of confidence.

Practice builds confidence. It’s a simple as that!

4. Knowing that it’s okay to fail or not be good at something

When you live with the knowledge that it’s okay to fail at something or to simply not be good at everything you attempt, you can’t help but feel confident.

When Thomas Edison was asked if he felt like a failure after failing so many times to create the light bulb, he replied by saying ‘no, he had simply discovered lots of different ways not to make a light bulb.’

5. Loving what you are doing:

When you love what you’re doing, confidence comes naturally. You don’t necessarily have to love what you’re to feel confident, but it sure helps.

Have a confidently awesome day!


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